Brad, a local beachgoer, couldn't even get a second look from any of the girls on the beach. So he headed over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard had any advice for him.
"Dude, it's obvious," said the lifeguard. "You're wearing those gnarly old swimming trunks that make you look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to get yourself a Speedo—say, two sizes too small—and drop a potato inside it. You'll have all the babes you can handle."
The following weekend, Brad hits the beach with his brand-spanking-new tight Speedo and his potato, and it's not long before he approaches the lifeguard tower once more.
"For cryin' out loud," said Brad, "it's worse than before! Everyone on the beach acts disgusted as I walk by—covering their faces, turning away, laughing! What's wrong now?"
"Jeez, Brad!" said the lifeguard, "The potato goes in front!"