Three couples - one retired, one middle-aged and one recently married - pay a visit to their local vicar to ask how they can become members of his church. The vicar says they must go without sex for two weeks, then come back and tell him how it went.
Two weeks go by and the couples return to the minister. The retired couple say it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple say it was tough for the first week but after that it wasnt a problem. The newlyweds say it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.
"Er... can of paint?" frowns the vicar.
"Yeah," says the husband. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up, i had to have sex with her right there and then. I was overwhelmed by lust!"
The minister shakes his head and tells them they're not welcome in his church.
"That's OK," says the bloke. "We're not welcome in Homebase either!"